It is considered quite the accomplishment for artificial intelligence to pass the Turing test, which is considered the benchmark for consciousness and self-awareness in an intelligent thingy. Scores of designers have tried, and failed, to create some sort of new robot or program or other such device that would be capable of bringing, once and for all, the gift of artificial intelligence to our homes, our automobiles, and our kinky TS partners (if you don't know what TS is, don't ask). In the midst of all this chaos, though, comes a stunning advancement. The author of this very site, benmassey.ca, is proof in of himself that artificial intelligence is, at this moment, possible!

Okay, well, it depends on your definition of 'artificial'. Wiktionary, as of March 30, 2004, defines 'artificial' as 'man-made; of artifice'. Technically, the Noble Author is man-made, by virtue of having been made when a man did things to his mother that I really would rather not think about right now or, for that matter, ever. Because I'm weak and don't like thinking of my parents having intercourse and everything. If your own value system in this regard is different, you're welcome to pursue some sort of pornographic endeavour that might be more up your alley.

Yes, my name is Ben Mas...well, if, given that information and the URL of this page, you can't figure out what my name is, then you should really turn around and go back to the special class. I am Ben Massey, and this is my webpage, my sanctum, the place where I can close my eyes and just listen to the crickets while I type type type things that nobody will ever read just for my own personal pleasure. And, frankly, if somebody else does read it, I want them to like it. The Internet is an amazing entertainment tool, and I don't want to be remembered as the Guy With The Really Freakin' Boring Webpage.

I am 17 years old, which is a dangerous thing for me to be writing since, if I know myself and how often I update things like this, my page will proudly announce that I am 17 years old even when I'm 80, the Internet has been replaced by sophisticated microchips inserted into our brains, and I'm the only man alive who still knows a thing or two about HTML. Not good web design, just HTML. I don't know jack-all about good web design now, how will I be able to know it when I'm 80 years old?

But like I was saying, I'm 17 years old, which makes me Not Quite An Adult where I am now so achtung, spammers: Send me the wrong kind of bulk e-mail and you're guilty of yet another federal offence to add to the massive list of crap you buggers have already racked up. I'm currently a high school student at no particular high school up in Canada (exactly where I am is reserved for those who I want to be stalking me). I'm one of those guys who fret a lot, which is why, despite the fact that my grades aren't that bad and I'm applying to get into an arts program and everything, I'm currently in the middle of Fretting Over Whether I'll Get Accepted. But I'm sure I'll tell you all about that on the weblog/journal thingy (click home, okay? It's where you were when you came into the site).

My hobbies include sitting in front of a computer monitor typing at people all day, reading good books, pacing (I do a lot of pacing, you'd be surprised how relaxing it can be), and designing horrifically ugly web sites that I paid money for the honour of having hosted, so that everybody could see how crappy I am. Oh, life's funny. But I also write things from time to time (some of which I will no doubt post here, or maybe I'll get a deviantart account, or something), and I find that nice. I'm not very good, don't get me wrong, and I have no preconceptions that I am, but I enjoy doing it. It makes me feel better from time to time.

I'm about 5'11" in the evening, usually hover around 180lbs, and as such am a little bit on the porky side (wonder where 'living large' comes from?) Not fat, no...not fat. Just not thin, and I'm not much to look at and things, which may explain why I spend all my time in here with virtual friends instead of out there with real ones (I have friends, thank you! I just don't hang out with them much). I also ramble a lot. Can you tell? Probably. Hell, I ramble on a web page, which I am certain bodes ill.

Interests include computinators, MUSHes and their ilk, and I'm also a mild sports fan. Things I am not a fan of include...hrm. Senseless arguments tick me off, as do discussions about really, really personal and biological things (I can be a little bit squeamish about that sort of stuff). So, really, yeah. You don't know all about me yet, but you do know something and that's probably a great deal more than I know about you, so I'm sure you can understand if I don't exactly go nuts and tell you all my deepest, darkest personal secrets. Yeah.

Oh, I like Pink Floyd. Good band.